Friday, February 15, 2008


Muster it up
your have to show yourself
you must smile

"Hello" she said
he looked at her aghast
"You're a dog!"

Look! A monkey!
That's a nice thing
because I'm human

She is cool
I guess she can come
to my funeral

Funny looking shoes
are staring right at me
I feel confused

Are you aware
that as you listen to
me, You live?

Let's get bananas
and paste them to walls
millions of bananas

I'm very cold
perhaps next time I won't
lean on windows

I crunch it
under my foot, it screams
tiny little leaf

hands are ugly
feet are too when you
think about it

the cigarette in
my pocket smells really bad
so I do


E ntering into the last place we will ever know.

C laiming that what we feel isn’t us, but that.

O ver extending our welcome.

L ying on the grass staring at the sky.

O n her profile he notices a finality.

G raceful, alone, away from that which makes us that.

Y ou notice colors.

To Save:

  • the moments when you are truly happy
  • first kisses
  • me best friend's dog
  • disease, because it is natural and real
  • the feeling when you first see the ocean
  • the hole in the tree outside my window in mexico
  • the moment when you realized you aren't okay and that that's okay
  • the way bare skin feels
  • the way my mom smells
  • the ladybugs and rollypollys we used to eat as children
  • just one painting
  • the way it sounds when children laugh
  • sadness, so we still feel something
  • haircuts - good and bad
  • veiny hands and veiny leaves
  • the way wind sounds when it is dark
  • the waves rising on the sand
  • tibet
  • hipocrisy
  • one single oil executive
  • Naropa's squirrels
  • the stoplight in front of naropa because otherwise i could never get home
  • bad jokes
  • wool and it's scratchiness
  • favorite pairs of shoes
  • her desperation
  • his too.

I am this woman

She reminds me of an old lady
frustration bound
to her body
bent over
her shell
this box that is so
so liberating
she smiles
with eyes that hurt
she moves hiding
she breathes, still
a hand on her belly
as she stares out
the window at
the trees blowing
in the wind that
whistles out her tune
and by her I mean
I cannot assume that
I am separate from
this woman.
I am this woman
standing, holding
her shell high.
I am this disease
and this shell.
Eating away at
the looks on our faces.
I eat her smiles
as my own get
eaten away.
I am this woman.

I Remember...

I remember...the way the yellow tree across the street looked as I sat with him.
I remember...the wind under me.
I remember...the way the sky broke into shards of glass right above his head.
I well I could see, I felt like I could see forever across the bay.
I remember...his hand grazing the bus as we walked past.
I remember...the way it sounds when you first bite into an apple.
I remember...he picked off the white stuff from the orange before he ate it.
I mother cutting the ends off flowers in our kitchen when I could barely see over the counter.
I remember...building a fort out of snow and mud when I was small, and it was quiet.
I remember...the way the sun felt on the back of my neck as I shivered from the chill in the air.
I remember...the smell of the jasmine tree mixing with the smell of my cigarette as the wind came off the river.
I remember...the way her hair shined on a summer day by the creek with white wine and smiles.
I remember...the garden with my longing held in each petal.
I remember...the way it felt to cry with my feet buried in the sand and the sting of the ocean air.
I remember...the way skin on skin reminds me of water.
I remember...loving in the ocean.
I remember...tasting coconut for the first time, spooning it with a piece of shell into my mouth; lime and salt sweetness.
I remember...eating milk and oreos and getting bit by mosquitoes.
I remember...being terrified of a tree.
I remember...when I first realized that not all beauty in nature is harmless.
I remember...when i first had a memory.